Mar 30, 2010 · You Want Happy Ending? An Update! should not be doing massage happy ending or not. Reply Pittsburgh Girlie;.
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Find Pittsburgh erotic massage parlors and enjoy a revitalizing erotic massage from a therapist straight out of a fairy tale happy ending. Pennsylvania.
Mavrick and I have Pennsylvania hard at work preparing our new home. And when I say Mavrick and I, I mean Mavrick. The bulk of the work has been painting, or power-tool related, neither of which are very mindbling friendly. So Mavrick has been busting his backside to get the house ready, Pennsylvania, while I have been hard at work doing things such as getting pedicures, shopping, blogging, etc. But this Sunday, I decided to pitch in and help. And by help I mean sit there and chat with Mavrick while he worked.
And then, Mavrick either got inspired, or sick of watching me sit on my ass. He decided that I could vacuum all of the new carpeting we just had installed. Good luck ever getting it all up. What kind of boyfriend suggests an Asian massage parlor to their pregnant girlfriend?
AS IF this might actually be a deterrent to your average, Asian massage parlor attending perv. I was tired, sore, Pennsylvania, and a massage sounded quite divine. And, I figured if nothing else, I was bound to get a good blog out of this. And walking in did nothing to assuage my fears. The first thing I noticed was the sweaty man in glasses and a gray running suit getting his frequent massagers card punched at the front desk.
Then to the plastic flowers in the vase. I was silently cursing Mavrick for talking me into this. I was positive that I was about to get molested by a tip-seeking illegal immigrant. Xie LiHong herself came out. She seemed so sweet, so normal, so incapable of sticking her finger up my butt, that I allowed myself to be lulled into thinking everything was ok.
Mavrick goes back with his lady, and Xie leads me back to my room. I go to the room next to Mavrick, Xie motions to some clothes hooks, lays a sheet down for me to cover up, and leaves the room. I strip down to my super sexy pregnant lady panties, and wait. I can hear Mavrick in the other room, and yes, it is apparent to me at this point that if there was a happy ending going on over there, I would know about.
I lay down and start looking at the charts on the wall. One of which is a giant diagram of Chinese acupressure points. At how to get a massage with a happy ending Pittsburgh point, I start wondering, what kind of massage am I getting here? I am familiar with exactly one kind, and that would be the one white chicks give you at day spas. Just as Xie comes in, my eyes lock onto a portion of the diagram.
They widen in recognition of what I am seeing, how to get a massage with a happy ending Pittsburgh. Before I have time to gasp or react, Xie pounces on me. In a move I will regret for the rest of my life, I fail to get a picture of this.
I would have gotten up to protest, but Xie had already begun what I now know is Tuina Qi Gong massage. Roughly translated — I Will Treat Your Butt Like The Muscle It Is. Nothing in my life had prepared me for this. She was literally trying to kick my ass.
I had kept my panties on in a bid for modesty. She was having none of it. She pulled them down below my cheeks and proceeded to pummel my back, shoulders, and rear like they had personally done something to her and her people. She attacked my back and arms for a bit, apparently decided my butt had offended her, pulled them down again, Sawwy!
This happened four or five times. I was waiting for Mavrick to ask me if I was okay, because the sound of my massage table groaning from the movement absolutely sounded like someone having sex. Then the compression started. Do you want more time? Xie finishes off on my feet, and leaves the room so I can dress. I stumble out to the front lobby, and there stands Mavrick.
Looking like a man that may or may not have had his butt violated. They give us a frequent massagers cards, hopeful that we will return. And honestly, we probably will. Well, I know Mavrick will. He already wants to go back. Once I did some research and found out what Qi Gong is all about, I can see why Xie did what she did.
She was realigning me, Pennsylvania, loosening up my soft tissue, and doing a damn fine job of it, I might add. For a tiny Asian lady, she had Chuck-Norris like hands. At various points it felt like she had four or five hands. Two days later, my shoulders have never felt better. If you want a nice, soothing, relaxing massage, go see a white chick.
If you want your sore and twisted muscles beaten into submission, go see Xie. And take your underwear off before you lay down. Or she will take them off for you. So glad I took the time to come and read this! When they speak Chinese to each other I am always convinced that they are talking about me in unflattering or threatening ways.
I am a horrible person. The only way to get back is to how to get a massage with a happy ending Pittsburgh them say my name in a reservation or takout order. But it is fun to hear them try. You made my day by reading this. My husband thought I was freaking nuts when I was laughing uncontrollably. Pingback: You Want Happy Ending? BitchBurgh Hey there…pretty funny. You are commenting using your tittiefuckers.info account. Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.
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